the battle of
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the first week is gone. chemistry was, okay. mathematics was a killer, but there’s nothing left to do now. other than practice for paper 3 next weekend. but since i can’t do anything about the papers i’ve completed, i shan’t be bothered. all we can do is hope for the best. that and study bio and history. yes louis.
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and smile.
salvo
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the floodgates are opening at 1300 hours tomorrow. for lack of a better phrase, this is it. truly. the past 2 years, no, the past 6 years of school life (life, basically) boils down to tomorrow. we’ve worked for this, slacked for this, gotten all upset and worried for this. in soon time will make short work of our ib life and it’ll all be over. but for now i’ve got to put thoughts of the post-ib awesomeness out of my mind. because its the moment that matters.
its a really strange feeling. i don’t know if this is what its supposed to feel like, or if i’m too unprepared, or too un-stressed. i just feel like i’m floating. let’s take this day by day then, shall we?
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all the best guys. slay the monster.
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progressive
down
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six
more days to go. six more days to study 5 subjects, to practice 5 subjects, to be fully prepared. somehow i don’t feel like i’ve been working hard enough since after prelims. maybe i can redeem myself in these 6 days.
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five
more hours to the interview. reading through my extended essay now has allowed me to find typos and errors. but its too late to even think about changing anything, so i shall hope it all goes fine. its funny how, as rene said, after the interview all that’s left to do is wait. and hope. and of course, study for the ib exams. but i sure hope i don’t mess up and blank out. or say something stupid. it would suck if this turns out like the last interview. but i’m sure it wont.
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sprint to the line
forebode
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seven is the magic number this year. this month.
we need sevens. six of them to be precise. but from all the may 09 papers, it looks like that’s going to be a tougher job than we were prepared for.
windows seven. it amuses me somewhat that i am blogging this from a windows 7 OS, yet i have not bought one to install. this release candidate will continue to be my alternative system for when i need a quick bootup and less distractions. and for when i forget to select vista during the startup. at least until next year, by which time i would have (hopefully) built a computer with decent specs running the real release (with my own money?)
seven months. it’s been a long wait, but not without its own merits. and at least, its almost over.
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going back to school for assorted lessons and studying slacking sessions has been strangely nostalgic. to feel the wind in our faces along the corridor which we used to walk down every weekday. to see the secondary school block that now seems to belong to a distant past. to eat familiar food in the sac, which somehow, surely, we are going to miss.
but it’s not yet time to let go.
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friends need friends
exeunt, stage right
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tomorrow will be, as a friend has so aptly put it, the “last official day of acsi life”. it’s strange how the past 6 years of hectic schedules and new experiences seem to all end so unexcitingly. if that’s even a word. we probably won’t feel very much different after the school day ends tomorrow, perhaps because we know we will be returning soon enough for extra lessons and eventually, our IB exams. and then what? i’ve grown so accustomed to life in this safe, wonderful little bubble that i wouldn’t feel right without it, to be perfectly honest. the friends, the time tables, the scenery. friends have changed, drifting and attracting. but still we see each other almost everyday. the school tradition remains the same, with proper acs attitude being shown off everywhere. as much as it may sound strange, i really like school. it gives you something to wake up in the morning for. it gives you an identity. it gives you a goal for the year. and structure in an otherwise chaotic and unplanned life.
what would we do without school.
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i really hope all you people cheer up soon. smile, the sun still shines, the world hasn’t ended. yet. and it won’t, not on our watch at least. so take heart. things might turn out better than you expect, and then you’ll have even more reason to smile. so why not start now and practice that grin. or else when the time comes you may have become so used to a frown and disappointment that you can’t make the change. pity.
now i have to work on that too.
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preparations
gratitude
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i’m really thankful for my results today. i wasn’t expecting it, as much as i might have been hoping for it. somehow the debacle of predicted grades has dampened the mood somewhat, but still, i am glad. praise God.
now just to keep it up for the real deal.
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for all you people who were disappointed today, please don’t let it affect you too much okay? it’s prelims, it might be major, but IB is still the one that counts. and there’s still time, to bring that score up. let’s go people, don’t give up! some measure of sadness is good though, and possibly useful. but still, it’s not the end of the world. you can do it! i know you guys can (: just try not to own me too badly?
CHEER UP PEOPLE
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smile
week
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the gravity of our situation has only just begun to dawn on me. in one week our life as acsians will end. finally, at long last, the journey will be completed, with only a final hurdle to cross. and i do not feel it now, but i know that soon i will. its been a long 6 years since i set foot in acsi, and those 6 years have been full of mistakes, of successes, of regrets, and lessons. friendships forged and faded amidst the passage of time in this great institution. i know, that if i were to take the time and the effort, i would be able to reflect a shocking amount about my life here in acs. but that perhaps is an activity for another time.
it’s going to be very weird. after all, every single transition in my school life has been carried out only half-heartedly. the name of the school remains the same, and with it, the tradition and attitude. most of my friends have been around for the 6 years, some even longer. how will we survive without the pretext of school to bring us together? who will we keep? what will we lose? we will make do somehow, but things will be lost along the way. i only hope we try hard enough to keep those that matter.
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the mad rush for 45 points should be starting soon. good luck everyone.
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nothing gold can stay
true joy held at bay
this bright light, now dismay
what glistens and shines, must fade one day
but this, for fool’s paradise, bartered away
the fantasy ended, now the folly to pay
renewal is no child’s play
but hope we will find, for another day
with God, surely there’s a way
and we end with that truth this day.
sms poetry: the new mode of expression. yes, emokid?
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perhaps?
of being
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i’ve been just floating around these past few days
monday: guitar hero, fish n co, inglourious basterds. coming home and reading time magazine while my computer was hijacked by my mum and then sleeping really early with no mood to do anything or talk to anyone. sorry for all the people i ignored, and thanks for your concern, really.
tuesday: waking up late, watching shows till lunch, meeting henry and chin, wasting time at jelita and in transit, watching body of lies, sleeping early again. watching movies with friends is fun. and wandering around in the midst of all the small henry park kiddos made us feel really old. are we REALLY that old? almost adults, they say.
wednesday: waking up late AGAIN, shows AGAIN, gym, dental, wandering around centrepoint looking at nice clothes. more shows, sleep. happy endings to anime episodes = happy people. gym = tired. nice clothes = wish i had more money to spend.
thursday: waking up late, dental, funan, starbucks. falling sick. i found it interesting that funan was still advertising for halo 2, when odst is out. 2 installments behind, guys. oh and the promoters at the computer fair on the first level were equally interesting. three of the girls were camwhoring with the hp mininote pcs. great job description eh. starbucks was fun, it felt like i hadn’t seen people in a really long time. movie at night again.
friday: waking up late, rushing to my appointment, having to wait insanely long before everything was over. rushing to bake, burning our food, failing at maggi mee, vivocity. thanks for the awesome day (:
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as much as i like sweet, unhealthy food, i now feel guilty about it. especially after eating the cream off 9 oreo cookies. next time we shall have healthier food that doesnt get destroyed so easily, and looks better. (: time to find us new recipes munchingteo.
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after all this slacking, i better get some work done tomorrow. maybe start studying for ib. math, perhaps? wish me luck. and i have just signed up for my lnat. hopefully, im not totally dead on that day. yay.
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cloudy with a chance of meatballs was a fun show. as far as feel good disney movies go, it didn’t fail to deliver. a welcome respite from all the mindless killing in inglourious basterds, body of lies and black hawk down. first movie of the week with no blood and broken fingers. and in 3D too. at least this time we were at the back, and not the 2nd row. i love disney.
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and you
temporary
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so the prelims ended today. and now, i’m at a loss. it’s as though i’d just got my engine going. i’d just started realising that studying could be bearable, possibly even fun. and then it ended. too abruptly. hitting the kill switch prematurely is never a good thing. either a loss in data or some damage is bound to occur. and somehow i think it’s the later. i’ve a feeling it’ll be even harder for me to crank it up again this time, as if the last wasn’t tough enough.
today’s math paper didn’t help. in a rare burst of motivation i actually did practice papers for this one, and it didn’t seem to help. i still panicked at the last question. because i typed in the values for the chi test wrongly and it threw me off, or because my engine died already. either way, it should have been better.
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inglourious basterds is a pretty weird show. maybe all the rave reviews i got from people led me to expect something more along the lines of valkryie. either way, i didn’t expect the comedy that we got. or i was at least looking for something with a deeper message about the war, but it didn’t materialise. just wanton killing and destruction. which is good on most days, but better on a small screen without having paid money for it and having to worry about cinema staff checking for id. ahwells.
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i hope it gets better tomorrow. maybe a day of stoning at home will help. now that i can’t remember what it is i do to feel happier.
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itching for a fight
sometimes i wonder what i worked for, if the same could be achieved with even less effort. when all you have to do is show potential, and they will have faith.
but still i have to keep going. because if i don’t start working harder the only direction available is down. which would be a waste. of everything. so dammit, why did you start realising this so late.
its only been in the last 5 hours that reality has finally hit me. our prelims have started. prelims. the precursor to the first major exam in six rollercoaster years. in all the 5 years prior, i assumed i would be absolutely prepared by now. only doing papers, to refresh the memory. but no. there is still studying to be done. and whatever papers being done are insufficient. nothing, compared to the effort expected.
wake up that idea.
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