begin with a step
——————————–
so today we leave for another land. the second of 6 (hopefully) journeys this year.
i hope that i’ll come back with memories, souvenirs, and happiness. its a long way to travel just to grasp that joy, but maybe this time it’ll work.
———————————–
new life
if all of us so-called Christians truly lived in a manner worthy of the name, no one would be rejecting God.
—————————-
but why is it so hard.
wow. thankfully i checked my trash before clicking purchase. additional 10% off sale items for asia. beginning to love asos.
look at all the pretty things
that steal my heart away
i can feel i’m fading
—————————————
its been nice to finally take a break away from commitment. to take a step back and realise i’ve been packing my schedule with so much that is meaningless. and so i’ve got to make the most of these couple of days before work starts again. i guess we really can’t have it all. it’s either time or money.
—————————————
have i been changed by trackers? i’d like to think so. and yet at the same time although i have faith that God has begun working something from the inside, i still slip so easily into the old ways. constantly complaining, reacting without thinking, failing to seek His voice in all i do. so many wasted opportunities, so many slip ups.
still, i trust in His providence
—————————————-
i wonder if i’ll end up doing all the things i always said i wanted to do with the time i had before university. since the parents refuse to see the logic in letting me learn diving, that’s out (for now.) and kinabalu still seems so unconfirmed, though i certainly hope it materialises. the prospects of learning dance seem less probable by the day. well, at least i’ll be going to japan and back.
—————————————–
nus felt weird today. perhaps i always though uni would feel magical, grown up somehow. the time i spent in law fac and cambridge as a visitor made me excited to begin, but kent ridge makes me want to run away and hide. maybe its the fact that its exam season, and the joy and aimlessness just vanishes from students when faced with this terror. i do hope i enjoy school when it starts though. the end of IB felt brilliant, if only it stays the same.
perhaps tomorrow’s visit to the alma mater will bring different reactions.
——————————————
fighting for what we already have received
good friday
————————
and so, this is one friday we should well and truly thank God for. funny how easy it is to forget the massive significance behind this annual commemoration. and the gravity of what was done for us.
therefore, live as children of the light.
————————–
life with God is not a renovation, it is an overhaul. and, as with all breaking of walls and relaying of foundations, its gonna be painful.
————————-
humility is about realising that we are nothing, and we deserve nothing. and if we know that, how can we begrudge God for not giving us something we wanted or felt we deserved. because, even the smallest blessing is a gift beyond our wildest dreams.
its so easy to know, yet so hard to feel
———————
stop wallowing.
sigh
do not waste time bothering whether you ‘love’ your neighbour; act as if you did.
the central vice is Pride. it is essentially competitive.
mere Christianity
curtain call
——————-
we are all sitting in a prison cell, surrounded by darkness and filth. we remember a time when we were brought out of the cell, shown the wondrous beauty of the free world outside, and then seemingly left alone to fend for ourselves. afraid of the uncertainty we wandered back to the cell and shut the gate behind us. now and then we feel a yearning for the freedom we once experienced in a fading memory, but convince ourselves that the gate has now been locked, without even bothering to try it. even when we do garner the courage to step out, we soon return to the squalid yet comfortable darkness.
if we could only realise that we’ve already been set free, and the only thing stopping us from living a life of freedom and redemption is ourselves.
————————-
so after much time-wasting and fretting, i have finally given in and purchased my tickets to Tokyo, Japan. i can’t wait for the 10 days of adventure that awaits at the other end of a 7 hour long SQ Economy Flight. ahh the excitement.
thank God i’m still at that stage of life where i have yet to realise the true importance of saving for the long term, having convinced myself that this is the last chance i have to enjoy. i can’t wait.
————————–
trackers internship is finally coming to an end. as much as i do enjoy playing with kids, it really is a pain when it comes to teaching them. especially when they refuse to learn. but i must remember that all work is but a service to God, and that our entire lives are one long worship session to Him. love, and accept.
i haven’t quite figured out yet if this mycoplasma is a good or bad thing. it certainly is bothersome to keep coughing, and to be unable to exercise. but thankfully i dont feel sick, and perhaps the time away from work is giving me some much needed recharging opportunity. well, whatever it is, i shall endeavour to make the most of it.
————————–
sometimes, the only way to hear and do, is to be.
i am tired
why do so many people love talking about me so much, when none of them actually want to talk to me.
although I guess I do that too.
|
