ressentiment

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
You tell me your blue skies fade to grey
You tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on 

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on 

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day 

Well, you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on 

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day 

(Oh.. Holiday..) 

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong (ahhh...) 

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh, you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost 

'Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

 

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because that’s how it is

fin

a fraction of who i once believed

————

so both anime series which i am watching are now over. and since i dont want to spoiler anyone (not that any of you reading this would be spoilered), i shant talk about the plot. 

BUT. i think the code geass ending was teh awesome. imo, it made up for the nonsense running around and wasting time that they had for the rest of R2’s season. thankfully the first anime i ever watched has had a nice ending, or i would be so totally sian-ed out. on the other hand, macross has been wonderful, but i got a bit confused at the end. all these fold waves and alternate universes mess with my mind. the conclusion: i <3 code geass.

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english today was ok i guess. although i will totally fail if i misunderstood the question, which is a possibility. nevertheless, i shall leave it behind and start on history math and bio. eventually.

—————–

with you here by my side

attack

ceaseless

————–

tomorrow begins week 2 of the exams. tests of our ability to perform under pressure, to perform in a time limit, basically to perform. sadly i doubt any of us are adequately prepared for the performance. hence the panic, for fear of a slipshod act.

somehow this reminds me of a zombie fighting game. wave 2 arrives in 9 hours. get your weapons ready

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ALL THE BEST EVERYONE.

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oh i absolutely love being high.

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untiring.

infinity

and beyond

—————

so thats 4 papers down, 6 to go. no major problems of gargantuan proportions, yet. i hope, at least. now if only i can get started proper on preparations for next week, i might do well. somehow, ive never done so much school-unrelated things in a week before. although i must say company of heroes is really rather fun, even if i AM using a touchpad.

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warlords is a complicated show. it could be that the subs i used were lousy and hence did not convey the full meaning of the speech accurately, but i was confused nonetheless. still, it was an interesting movie to watch, although in my opinion the rest of the show didnt do the epic fight scenes credit. usually its the other way around.

—————

Got bruises on my knees for you
And grass stains on my knees for you
Got holes in my new jeans for you
Got pink and black and blue for you

—————

so the stock challenge is over. well, it was somewhat fun while it lasted. especially when we started earning money instead of losing it. maybe next time when im rich with excess money to spend. still, thats a long time to go.

—————

guitar hero world tour looks too awesome for words. so if youve got 299 dollars to spare, go ahead and feel free to buy me a set. (:

—————

but she was kind of imaginary

addition

quotable quotes

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“The only true currency in this bankrupt world, is what you share with someone else when you are uncool” – Lester Bangs (Almost Famous)

“There are no atheists in foxholes and no ideologues in financial crises” – Ben S. Bernanke

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these notes that bind

spinning

into overdrive

————-

somehow or the other, its always the little things that make me happy. well not counting the past week where ive been perpetually high on what i do not know. maybe the act of knowing that the exams are coming yet pretending to ignore the fact has driven me over the edge. and beyond.

the couple of minutes in between our worship practice and the time when the students came filing into the chapel was pure awesomeness. playing guitar with tony and louis. just letting loose and playing whatever comes to mind irregardless of the people watching. its just so reminiscent of FOA. if i could just spend a whole month doing that, it would be bliss. at least until the fingers start hurting.

catching up with friends. both literally and as a figure of speech. that was just fun. whether it be chasing people around the corridors or merely having a conversation, its these simple things that make life a little more bright. 

smiling like a maniac while drinking ribena for no reason whatsoever.

and in the spirit of the coming exams, we shall analyse the common ground for these causes of joy. the conclusion? not caring. its only at those split-second moments where you somehow break free of everything you cared about the previous minute. ignoring whatever anyone else might think. feeling like you cant be stopped. for now, at least, thats what life is about.

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so the rites of passage begin tomorrow. first up, mother tongue. a stark reminder of our roots, one whose message goes unheeded with every passing generation. the growing sentiment of our times: i cant wait for this to be over. and despite knowing its purpose, i agree. 

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all together now

or alone

I’m a PC

and thats a windows too

————

i must say that the new microsoft ads arent very much to be proud of. but it made me think. maybe the ads arent THAT bad after all. maybe its just because all the “creative types” at apple made their set of advertisements first, and the microsoft people just cant measure up to standard. so a bunch of ads that would usually be acceptable now turn out to be absolutely horrible. because we just cant help comparing, cant we.

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i really should be scared out of my wits about the exams. 3 days to the start, and i havent started proper. i mean, i have a glass of water, a box of raisins, a bunch of highlighters, textbooks and files on my table. but somehow every few pages get punctuated by a distraction. oh if i could just sit down and mug.

————

because we all yearn for that touch

note to self

its a bad thing to drop your laptop. not that its spoilt or anything, but ive a feeling me dropping it has something to do with its current quirkiness. nothing important, just folder views and internet connections. like how i am currently online but it says i am connected to no networks at all. ah wells. silly me.

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i was just looking at my ipod, and realizing what an awesome invention it is. no not the ipod classic, but the whole portable media player thing. its like having a computer thats the size as your handphone. then again, your phone’s a computer too. i must be really slow to have just re-realised the prevalence of technology in our lives. but i really think its quite amazing when a few decades ago a simple calculating computer was about 100 times the size of a mac pro. 

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so while everyone’s studying

here i am. blogging.

drunk

 on air

————

i know i switched on the comp because i was supposed to test something out. just that the instant i logged in, i forgot what it was. so now to cure my aimlessness i shall blog.

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you know those games where you make a choice to advance in the game. like those adventure books where you have to collect things and make decisions along the way. well, if only life were like that. if only we could cheat and see where a choice would take us. if only we could realise we screwed up and then somehow revert to the last checkpoint. as henry said. when you have to choose, the easiest thing to do is buy both things. sadly that isnt always possible. and so we’ll always be left lacking. wondering. because we’ll never know.

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on a lighter note, being happy is good. especially when its a week before exams and you havent studied. i wonder if i might one day just crack and go crazy. ah wells.

————-

because it hurts to know, but burns to not.

butterflies

everywhere

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so much for starting the exam preparations during the weekend. one week to go and i havent started. and there is no conceivable chance in this reality that im going to start tonight. not to mention that i still have a bunch of stuff to waste my time on, despite the fact that the next sandman book is unattainable and i have finished death note. 

maybe i should just do tys and not study. ah wishful thinking.

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our stock market challenge is starting to pick up. at least we earned money today, although it is only a measly 80 dollars. still, now we know how to play the game. 

somehow today felt reasonably joyous. maybe it was the general feeling of slackness. of ambiguity. of ignorance regarding the looming exams. it could have been the swimming that did it. or maybe just a conscious decision to be happy, even if it IS to the detriment of my sanity.

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download tally for today:

Moment of Glory – Scorpions and the Berlin Philharmonik (hard rock + instrumental ftw)

Does You Inspire You – Chairlift

Handlebars – The Flobots

 

random much?

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because it hurts to feel