refracted

re-enact

——————

its been a pretty intense year, with so much happening and just as much not happening. between the friends and the work, everything’s just been happening at hyperspace. maybe this is what its like to grow up and feel the heat of graduating year.

——————-

its funny how today’s interview session made us think about our IB experience. and when the question was asked on what could be improved, i just couldnt think of any. maybe its the result of my true-blue experience, seeing those red blue gold colours on a flag every weekday for 4 terms a year. maybe its just that i havent known any other system and hence cannot make a comparison. or maybe i truly am happy and satisfied with the way things are, for all their faults and shortcomings. admittedly, there are certainly improvements that can be made, but what system is perfect and free of the need for change? i feel it treats us well enough, and as long as im not being severely abused by my education, i am happy. life wasnt meant to be easy, and its just as well that we learn it early.

——————-

sometimes its enough to live for those rays of hope. the random outbursts into song. the time spent with people who truly matter. the temporary states of elevation. the happy days. it makes the fatigue and sianness of the other days seem so immaterial, as if for all the frustration they bring for the moment, they fade into obscurity once the time has passed. 

——————–

i guess i should be worried that im not extremely worried about the actual exams, as some people are. but its just that the deadlines for this term pose too big an obstacle for me to see beyond them. it could be that im taking things in stride, but i could just be finding justification for my laziness. either way, i doubt i will be making any huge progress in studying until june arrives and we are free from the terrors of ee, ias, tok and cas. or at least we hope.

———————

note to self: watch schindler’s list

———————

We share the same biology
Regardless of ideology

tired

DISCOVERY OF THE DAY:

 

MICROSOFT WORD COUNTS YOUR FOOTNOTES IN YOUR WORD COUNT UNLESS YOU SPECIFICALLY TELL IT NOT TO. WHICH MEANS MY FOOTNOTES WERE COUNTED IN MY EE WORD COUNT. WHICH MEANS I ACTUALLY HAVE QUITE A NUMBER OF MORE WORDS BEFORE I HIT THE WORD LIMIT. SIGH. 

——————————–

world lit ggxx kmn

viva

all things lovely

————————

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GO FOR COLDPLAY YESTERDAY. my first gig ever, and the awesomest shit i have ever seen. i must admit, after the hype over mraz, i was hoping for the intensity of a live concert. and coldplay certainly delivered.

even though they started late, they played for about 2 hours. and 2 hours of awesome music, awesome vocals, and awesome atmosphere, was just. well. awesome. chris martin is seriously totally insanely pro. considering that he was running around stage, jumping around, and could still hit every single note pitch perfect, he is one crazy dude. not to mention the fact that he alternated between piano and guitar between songs. you can really feel the intensity when he’s seated at the piano, banging on the keys and belting out insanely high notes. 

although we weren’t given the chance to have the band playing an acoustic set just 2 rows in front of us and showcase our spasticness on the huge screens, we were close enough. just a couple of meters away from the side of the stage, getting awed by all their skills. the only regret of the night: i didnt bring my camera. i cant imagine what shots i could have gotten at that distance. sigh.

thank you joyce for calling me down. i am never gonna forget this concert. in fact, i think im going to go spam coldplay now.

———————-

considering i have done absolutely no work for the past week and a half except for math port, i should go get started on world lit now. have fun people.

———————–

music of the night

almost

not quite

———————–

and so the march holidays end. and term 2 begins. a new term of work. of assignments. of projects. of ee and ia drafts. of busy weekends. but most importantly, of hope. even as every passing moment brings us a step closer to the dreaded IB exams, it confers on us added age, and with it experience. so while we are thrown closer and closer to the edge, we are becoming more and more prepared for it. such is the beauty of life.

its been one hectic week. sleep-deprived, busy, unique, bugged with headaches, stressful, yet wonderful. simun was an eyeopening experience, even if it wasnt exactly what i was expecting. still an interesting one nonetheless, which i am sure i have learnt from. and that’s just how it is. even the most imperfect of experiences can be the best of teachers. the past night and today spent rushing math port was a taxing experience, but somehow bearable. and for that i must thank you for making it all so much easier. its amazing how far youve pulled me from the edge of despair and apathy. so thank you.

——————–

and as we embark on a new term, i wish you all the best. between the world lit, ee, history ia, econs ias (for those who have it) and the like, we will make it through. because we know, even in the darkest of nights, that this is not going to kill us. we will prevail, and emerge all the stronger. so for all of us struggling through the clinging webs of work, have hope. the sun yet shines, even if we cant see it.

cheer up (:

————————–

what would we do without friends like tony

 

joshuatonypaulbobwaltercooldudecharlesmullothjeffereyjorgelimtzewei said:

haha

MONSTER HUNT

><dannyboy><                deathlines said:

LETS GO

joshuatonypaulbobwaltercooldudecharlesmullothjeffereyjorgelimtzewei says:

 *spots a wondering ogre*

><dannyboy><                deathlines says:

 *shoots a bolt of energy*

joshuatonypaulbobwaltercooldudecharlesmullothjeffereyjorgelimtzewei says:

 *ogre evades attack*

 *ogre hits daniel*

><dannyboy><                deathlines says:

 *daniel takes a step back and signals tony to attack*

joshuatonypaulbobwaltercooldudecharlesmullothjeffereyjorgelimtzewei says:

 FLAME STRIKE

><dannyboy><                deathlines says:

 *ogre deflects the flames with its really thick skin*

 *tony is burnt*

joshuatonypaulbobwaltercooldudecharlesmullothjeffereyjorgelimtzewei says:

 *healing potion*

><dannyboy><                deathlines says:

 ACTIVATE STAR POWER

 *tony is now a guitar hero*

joshuatonypaulbobwaltercooldudecharlesmullothjeffereyjorgelimtzewei says:

 *OMEGA ROCK STAR ATTACK: 10000000000000000000 DAMAGE*

————————–

here we go again

new

beginnings

————————-

so the first half of the holidays are over, and all i have to show for it is one question of math port done. still at least guitar camp is over, and i think it didnt go too badly, considering how last minute everything was. surprisingly it was the ib orchestra that didnt practice, while the secondary people did. and improved by a lot, in my opinion. and i must say, it is rather fun teaching sec ones guitar. although it really is hard finding the right speed for them, since theres such a wide range of potential amongst just the 4 of them.

thanks to everyone involved in the camp, who probably put in more effort than me. i wouldnt know what to do without you guys.

————————-

its like the holiday is over, and its back to reality. its funny how when youre away from home, anything can feel like a holiday. even if it had been a work kinda camp, it wouldnt have felt like work. at least, not in the conventional sense of the word. and this certainly wasnt a work camp, not really anyway. i really had fun, whether it was the adrenaline of night games, the actual playing of the pieces, or just talking to people. strangely i wasnt as tired as i thought i would be, after 3 hours of sleep in 2 days. i wonder if i would have lasted the last day without that can of redbull though. still, it was fun.

thank you, for everything. all the bad was bearable, and all the normal was good. and you just needed to be there.

————————-

HOW NOW MATH PORT. its funny how everyone around you is dying from the same stupid piece of work. and somehow you know we’re all going to survive this, even if it leaves us dead and craving for sleep throughout the next term. still, the end seems so far away. that sometimes, you feel it might not even exist.

and thats without even thinking of world lit tok and lear.

————————–

SIMUN aint too bad after all. thankfully i had reuben ong in my committee, so thats one guy i know. it would have been cooler if there’d been more people i knew there though. *ahem joyce*. but still, we shall make do. going up to talk is fun, even if it leaves me feeling inadequate and totally noob in the face of the other speakers and delegates. still, fun stuff. just hope it doesnt jeopardize my holiday work.

————————–

anything, anything at all

just so it never ends

take

a break

—————–

ill be off at guitar camp for the next 3 days. so if theres anything, just call/sms. like if youve had a breakthrough in a certain piece of work and feel a pressing need to share your discovery. or if someone’s giving away free 5800s. or if you miss me (: 

—————–

so it begins

prospects

prospectus

——————–

somehow finishing your ee doesnt mean you have no work left. tasks for the holidays:

1) History IA

2) TOK Presentation

3) King Lear

4) World Lit

5) Math Portfolio

AND

mon-wed: guitar camp

thurs-sat: SIMUN.

i hope i dont die.

———————

NUS is an interesting place, and after today, i wont feel that bad if i end up there. although it’d still be cool to go overseas on a scholarship. but somehow if i dont get into oxbridge, NUS seems rather appealing. after all, i’d get to stay in Singapore, get a good foundational undergrad education, spend in singapore dollars. sigh here i am thinking about universities when i havent even taken my IB exams. or my prelims. or even midyears. OHWELL. planning ahead ftw.

i am rather impressed by the NUS law campus and the people there. after the people i talked to at the main open house who didnt seem to know how to answer my questions, the eagerness of the law students to help was refreshing. and the professors seem really cool too. and friendly. and smart. ahhh cool stuff.

i need more days like today

————————

the march holidays loom. and with it a mixture of feelings. relief, anticipation, stress and joy. such is life.

————————

only to feel

COMPLETION

IM DONE WITH EE. FOR NOW. I JUST HOPE ITS GOOD ENOUGH TO WITHSTAND MARKING.

 

THANKS FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT (:

 

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

all you need

could ever need

———————–

its been a heck of a week so far. i think ive never been so sleepy every day in a week before in my entire life. and yet i cant quite figure out why ive been so tired nowadays. maybe its the work. maybe its just the mere prospect of work that chills the soul and freezes your bones. either way, its been a tiring ride.

———————–

so our ees are due tomorrow. good luck to everyone staying up late tonight to rush out a decent piece of work. i hope i get mine out and printed soon enough, or maybe ill finally discover what it feels like to fall asleep at your computer. the possibility of cutting out 1.5k words within the next hour seems slim. but at least i know that once im done with that, its off to bed. a temporary respite before i die again tomorrow under impossible piles of work. its comforting yet disconcerting to know that all your friends are drowning along with you in the sea that is IB life.

i think that if this week hadn’t been an otherwise happy week, i’d be moping around and getting pissed off with life. which is certainly counter-productive. so i thank God, and thank you. it really helps.

————————

i am a mathematicaster. go google it. 

we shall all have to do better next term. so by the time it hits our ib exams, we’d have hit the peak of our production curve, and brilliance would be closer within reach. that is, if we dont burn out from ee tok and ias before that. because if we dont do well for those, there isnt must of a point anymore.

————————

i never thought it would be so hard finishing IB and getting to uni. its funny how when we were younger, we always used to assume we would get a scholarship, go overseas and study wherever we wanted. but now when we actually have to start thinking about where and what we want to study, prospects dont look as promising. the fact that almost the whole world will be applying to oxbridge, compounded by the fact that we can only make one application to either of the 2 and for one course only, makes it seem all the more impossible. so many things to consider, so many variables. and life hangs in the balance.

————————

back to work. i cant wait for june and a nokia 5800. 

————————

cos baby

you’re gonna be the one that saves me

reckoning

reconciled

———————

despite the fever, the long draggy lessons, the destroyed throat, the intermittent coughs and subsequent headaches, it was a good day. there are some things, like jason mraz concerts, that you really wish you could have been there for. jumping out of your seat, screaming with your friends for one of your favourite artists. but these things, they come again. whether it be back in the same stadium, or even in the future in another country. *heh weekend entertainment for uni*.

but then there are those things which you know only happen once. ever. things that you know you’ll always remember, even as now, the moment leaves you speechless. things that happen so quickly, in such a blur that you worry the details will blend into each other, leaving nothing but murky memories. yet every vivid (or not so vivid) detail will remain etched in the space of your mind forever. 

forever is a long time. but maybe we can make it through.

———————-

i thank you, and im sorry for the things i could have done but didnt do.

———————–

the jump is taken, the descent swift. as the waves rush up, there is nothing left but to fling your arms in an open embrace, trusting the wind to bring you to safety. and only then, when you cast aside everything else, can you truly live.

in Him we trust.

————————-

the term is drawing to a close, each second bringing us closer to the march holidays. of which, i must say, there arent very much holidays left. after all, between the guitar camp and simun, homework and projects, cas and open houses, what little time we have left will be absolutely necessary for a recharge. for a refuelling, that we may run the course of the next term without event. 

because we’re all in this together. we’ll help each other through. and for all you people dying from the burden that is ib out there, know that youre not alone. this is for the friends who keep us going each day, who hide their sufferings to cheer you up, the ones who you know really matter. i <3 you guys.

—————————

so i wont be going to school tomorrow. i hope i dont miss too much, seeing as there’s an organic chem lecture, an !nk meeting, a mun society meeting, and the usual lessons. 

—————————-

perhaps

there is yet hope

for what we seek

might be found