note

to self

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MUST.

START.

STUDYING.

TOMORROW.

———————–

ERGH.

forward

reversal

——————-

nothing like a good argument to remind you that we all are still, after all, mere mortals. perhaps only a matter of expression, but spicy nonetheless.

——————–

i have only just realised the intensity required to make it in life. to apply for ucas, psc and everything else in time. write personal statements. read up on current affairs. study for prelims. wish us luck. 

i hope i make it

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on a random note, the first thing i saw when i got home was a guy puking at the lobby. such fun.

———————-

time to get down to business, i guess.

———————-

won’t you stay with me tonight

respite

despite

—————–

i can’t believe i actually survived almost 3 whole days without turning on my comp. 6 rss feed updates, 18 emails, and lots of FMLs to read. (:

its been an exciting past few days, especially with the end of the dreaded IOC. coming home and spending the night on threadless, eventually not buying anything. at least now i know what to get the next time there’s a sale (:

—————–

GEP anniversary dinner was a strange event. perhaps it was meant truly for alumni, in the senior sense of the word. nevertheless, if networking was the purpose in mind, i must say it was terribly unsuccessful. not least because of the strange arrangements. perhaps most aptly summarised by the minister, with his quip about our half containing “the others”. needless to say, we did not venture out of our comfortable familiar tables much, especially not to the other half of the ballroom. it WAS useful though, in allowing us to meet up with old teachers. that was probably the most valuable takeaway of the night, the joy when a teacher from 8 years ago sees you and remembers your name. the knowledge that the world is not as cruel a place as they would like as to believe. that people do remember, and they do care. our performance went acceptably well, and at least there were some who listened. it was quite possibly better off this way, then if the hall had been silent – awkward much? still, sitting around and just talking to friends is always a good thing. thank God for them.

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pizza hut was awesome too, even though we had to run in the rain, my bandage came off, and i was late for the gep dinner prac as a result. we need more class bonding like that. talking is therapeutic.

——————

today was great. everything about it was great, except maybe the seats in the second row. i must say, watching a movie in 3D is a fascinating experience, one that deserves an encore. the short filler before the main course began was certainly appetizing. its amazing how a single expression on a character, real or imagined, can evoke so strong an emotion in an audience. which was nothing compared to the movie itself. either i never noticed it when i was young and happy (although i AM still happy, i hope), or disney shows have become progressively more emo. adult themes indeed. condensing almost an entire lifespan into the first 10 minutes of the movie is tremendously thought provoking, and heart wrenching. and the rest of the show was equally fascinating. good show good show. (:

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so now we have something to prove. i had actually been planning to take it easy this time round, and save it for the real deal. but i guess now i have to get it right both times. i only hope i have the strength to see it through. but i must, even if its just to show you that i can. it doesnt always have to have a negative impact.

———————–

when i saw you walking over

i could only smile

blooop

suspend

————————

so. ioc is over. it went okay, not exceptionally well but not too terribly in my opinion. now all that’s left is to hope for the best. although it feels a little weird to have spent so long making notes and only using a small part of it. but still, i am ever thankful for friends. the notes, the practices, the encouragement. couldnt have done it without.

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too many heart-racing moments today. 

please reply us. and maybe, be really kind and give us a discount.

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i slacked off the whole day tomorrow. better do my english essay tomorrow.

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kthxbai

surface

refraction

———————-

today has been a semi-weird day. in both the good and the bad ways. since we have technically finished the syllabus of all our subjects except english, i should be happy. and i was, until i realised that i cant remember anything that ive learnt this term. ergh. the uk uni talk was educational, but once again another reminder of how close we are to making a series of decisions which will affect us for the rest of our lives. a different course, a different place, and our lives could be entirely different. saying a single sentence in a different manner at an interview, and we make or break our chances. its scary, the tremendous effect our decisions in the near future will have on our lives. and we’ve got to make them for all the right reasons, or its a regret we shall have to bear for the rest of our lives. everything’s just happening too fast.

tomorrow shall be a happier day.

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the door creaked shut, the single lamp flickering as he turned the lock. slowly moving to his dressing table, the one with no mirror. chancing a quick glance out of the window, pulling aside the blinds that shielded him from the world out there. he could see the shadows already beginning to increase, as people began to fill the streets outside, shying away from the weak light thrown by ancient street lamps. no one could remember why they still lit the lamps each night with a flick of that magical electric switch, even thought they all shunned it like the plague. they just did. he shuddered and walked back to his couch, collapsing in the chair with a sigh. the noises of the night began to drift into his home, past the shattered glass windows and flimsy blinds. people. such a strange word to use at this time of day. when the masks came off and there were no more people, only shadows. fragments of desire, passion and fear. night, when they let their true selves come out to play. he shivered, despite the warm glow of the heater next to him. maybe he would keep his mask on tonight. perhaps then he could pretend the world outside didnt exist, that only the carefully guarded, consciously planned existence of daytime did. 

but you can’t run forever.

———————

i got my phone bill the other day, its quite amazing how in one month i have made the seamless transition from 600 to 1899 messages a month. and if not for the 10 dollars off for campus calling (how i ended up within the signal area of the participant schools i will never know), my bill would be pretty daunting. for now at least, the spree shall continue.

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that we might shake from ourselves such cares that burden us now

wasted day. i had better get some work done tomorrow or i’m never going to finish studying for ioc. tried to do extract 3 today but barely did anything. couldnt even keep up my lousy rhythm of 1 extract a day. hopefully an earlier rest will rejuvenate me for tomorrow. off to bed.

think

of me

———————

i read the newspapers for the first time in a very long time today and i realised just how strange the world is. we call them terrorists, and while they probably are (in the most commonly accepted sense of the word), i’m sure theres a whole lot of people who don’t see them that way. rebels maybe. freedom fighters. patriots. defenders of the people even. so much hinges on perspective, we’re just thankful we’re on the right side of the spectrum. or maybe, the left.

———————–

i have only done 1 extract. and none thus far today. being sleepy before you even begin work certainly doesnt help, nor does the general sianness of school.

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it is so much more fulfilling just to sit around with people and talk. beats doing work hands down anytime. even walking and talking. well, more of running, stopping, running, walking, drinking soya bean and walking. a fail run it might be, but it was fun nonetheless. and a welcome break from all things constrained, freedom of a sort that can only be found outdoors amongst the sun and the leaves.

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life is just too fragile. one snap, one blink, one swipe and its all gone. simple to begin, difficult to build and effortless in its ending. but still, we’ve all got to find something to live for. religion, friends, work, yourself. why? because its just too beautiful to waste away.

————————-

because we’re special

you and i

in my heart

what do you see

———————–

today’s national day celebrations didn’t feel as long as they used to. although the school was pretty averse to participating in the community singing. but still, today was a fun day (:

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i have discovered that the school internet, while theoretically slower than my home one, gives me faster facebook upload speeds than at home. how sad.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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as much as i resent work, i know i am going to miss school when this is all over at the end of the year. the hours spent together with friends (and maybe even teachers) in class, the running around during recess and after school, all the fun we have. just not the work. 

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saturday’s videos are going up on facebook! slowly though. and go check out weichang’s awesome video haha. (:

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i need to start on ioc. bio ias why wont you leave me alone.

————————–

smile

search

found

———————

today’s gig was kinda messy. but it was fun practicing and all, and we should do it again sometime. thanks to all of you who came down to support, and sorry it wasn’t really up to standard xD maybe next time eh?

buy the shirts! http://teamsync.xanga.com/

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thanks for today. every moment spent is just a step closer to happiness, and it’s like the sun rises a bit more each day because of you.

———————-

stop emoing people! smile more! even though ioc is coming and we’re all going to die. and then get revived as undead zombies just in time to take our prelims. but at least after that its just a final push, the final exams, the reckoning, and then freedom. at least temporarily. another chapter of life closed. something to look forward to, at least.

———————–

i have to stop noticing people’s phones so much. one day i’m going to see an n97, or a i8910 and decide that my phone is really crappy after all. but till then, it’s good enough for me.

———————–

sleep and pizza is good for the soul

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electric touch