sometimes i wonder what i worked for, if the same could be achieved with even less effort. when all you have to do is show potential, and they will have faith.
but still i have to keep going. because if i don’t start working harder the only direction available is down. which would be a waste. of everything. so dammit, why did you start realising this so late.
its only been in the last 5 hours that reality has finally hit me. our prelims have started. prelims. the precursor to the first major exam in six rollercoaster years. in all the 5 years prior, i assumed i would be absolutely prepared by now. only doing papers, to refresh the memory. but no. there is still studying to be done. and whatever papers being done are insufficient. nothing, compared to the effort expected.
wake up that idea.
